I tried to find some fun facts about algebra. But I came up short. Apparently, there isn’t much funny about this topic. I know. I have been there, and I often wondered, back then, why I had to spend so much time learning this subject. It comes in handy in many areas, I am told, like science, engineering, economics, mathematics, and medicine. But as far as I know, I’ve not used a lick of algebra my entire life.
Oh. Sure. At the time, I was a chemistry major, and people who dabble in the minuscule need to equate. I just couldn’t see the pot at the end of the rainbow. And today, the only application I have for algebra is when I dress up as a mermaid and need to put on my algae bra.
I bring this topic to the table because today is the birthday of Johann Friedrich Carl Gauss, born unto this world on April 30, 1777, in Brunswick, Germany. He would become a mathematician, astronomer, and physicist. He is one of the world’s most famous mathematicians, in case you needed help with that one.
Here are a few of the things he figured out.
He proved the fundamental theorem of algebra. (I didn’t need it.)
He independently arrived at the least-squares method. Line of best fit. (I don’t know what the heck this is.)
He introduced the bell curve (Gaussian distribution) in statistics. (Any fool can look at a bell and see it has a curve.)
And Gauss did much, much more.
But whenever I hear the word, I can’t help but recall my first brush with algebra. My teacher was Mrs. Germer, a slow-moving woman, with very little in the way of a personality. If people were earthquakes, they wouldn’t even let her on the. Richter Scale. She was barely a wobble. This was during my freshman year in high school.
Now, I must tell you again about my Dad. He was a man who believed in the way of truth. Honesty is the best policy. He drove that lesson into us like a hammer drives a nail. He lived by example, showing us time and again the ways of integrity and doing the right thing. Above all, being honest and never cheating.
So. There I was at midterms. I had a good sturdy set of A’s in all my other classes. But in algebra? I was barely holding on to a C, which was tottering on the edge of the deep dark D’s. And it was test time. My best friend Julie was in my class. We sat right across from one another. She offered to help me through the test and show me her answers. Easy a pie. Without even batting an eye, I was in on the plan. It took about three minutes into the test, and I was busted. It seems I was hexed against cheating by my father’s lifelong indoctrination.
Old, tapioca Germer caught me leaning way into the aisle. I didn’t rat out Julie. I said I was acting on my own, trying to get a glimpse of the papers around me. I knew my redress was coming.
Mrs. Germer sent me to the principal’s office. A nun.
The nun sent me home with a note. Which I handed to my Dad.
Our dad never physically punished us. Barely ever. But he gave us something much worse. It was his look. His complete look of disappointment in us. And I got it that day. There is no calculation in the world that can give you the equivalent of that. Algebra, or otherwise.
I didn’t cheat again. That is, until my junior year in college during a Film Appreciation Class. That turned out badly too. The hex, and all. I finally learned my lesson, and I haven’t cheated on anything since. Not even once.
So maybe I have to give a big shout-out to Johann Friedrich Carl Gauss after all.
Algebra did teach me something. One of life’s most important lessons. The importance of honesty. The line of best fit. It is surely one I will never forget.
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“Anything is better than lies and deceit!”
― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
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“Lies require commitment.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent
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“Oh, what a tangled web we weave…when first we practice to deceive.”
― Walter Scott, Marmion
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