The Urban, Urban, Urban Legends

In the world these days, our president has made the terms “fake news” and “hoax” common household words.  But back in the day, before all this lying started, we had a different kind of lying.  They were a bit on the fun side. It was those good old crazy urban legends.

In case you need a refresher course, an urban legend is a modern-day folktale.  They are usually creepy, bizarre, or unbelievable.  It is a wild story that gets passed around as if it really happened.

Oftentimes, they are told by a “friend of a friend.”  In reality, these stories usually reflect common fears.  Sometimes they contain moral lessons.  Or perhaps they are just plain old weirdness.

You know how it goes.  The babysitter who gets scary phone calls from inside the house.  Or the guy who wakes up in a bathtub full of ice with a kidney missing.  And then there are those monster alligators supposedly living in New York City sewers.

Even though they’re rarely true, urban legends feel plausible enough to stick in our minds.  They spread by word of mouth, emails, internet forums, and now TikTok and Reddit. It’s folklore for the modern age.

Here’s a list of some of the most famous urban legends I found online.  These are the kind that have creeped into slumber parties, school hallways, and late-night internet rabbit holes.

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The Hook
A teenage couple hears on the radio that a killer with a hook for a hand has escaped from a nearby asylum. They flee the lover’s lane, only to find a hook dangling from the car door handle when they get home.

The Killer in the Backseat
A woman is driving at night and keeps getting high-beamed by a car behind her. Turns out, the driver flashing her is trying to warn her about a man hiding in her backseat with a knife.

Alligators in the Sewers
Supposedly, baby alligators were flushed down toilets in New York City and grew into full-sized reptiles in the sewer system. (Spoiler: not likely—but persistent.)

The Vanishing Hitchhiker
A driver picks up a quiet hitchhiker. After a short drive, the passenger mysteriously disappears—often leaving behind a scarf or jacket—and later turns out to be a ghost.

The Kidney Heist
A traveler wakes up in a hotel bathtub filled with ice, only to find a note telling them to call 911 and that one of their kidneys has been stolen.

Bloody Mary
Say her name three times in the mirror, and she’s supposed to appear. No one wants to test it too seriously, though.

The Pop Rocks and Soda Myth
Legend says that eating Pop Rocks and drinking soda will make your stomach explode. Poor Mikey from the Life cereal commercials supposedly died this way. (He didn’t.)

The Choking Doberman
A couple returns home to find their dog choking. The vet removes human fingers from the dog’s throat—fingers that belonged to a burglar hiding inside the house.

The Clown Statue
A babysitter calls the parents to ask if she can cover up the life-sized clown statue in the corner of the room. They tell her to grab the kids and get out. They don’t own a clown statue.

The Licked Hand
A girl hears dripping during the night but is comforted by her dog licking her hand. In the morning, she finds her dog dead and a note that reads, “Humans can lick, too.”

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One of my favorites from childhood was called “Thump. Thump. Drag.”  But I can’t remember exactly how it goes. 
Of course, this is all nonsense.
But it beats the heck out of the lies that are coming out of Washington these days.  Or should I say Maralargo?

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“Folklore is not just about the past. It’s about what we fear and hope in the present.” — Neil Gaiman

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“Legends are born from a spark of truth, stoked by fear, and fanned into wildfire by imagination.” — T. Kingfisher

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“Stories are wild creatures. When you let them loose, who knows what havoc they might wreak?” — Patrick Ness

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“The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.” — Steve Jobs

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