“When one burns one’s bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.”
I recently came across this quote by Dylan Thomas. Clearly, a man not afraid to cut old ties.
I didn’t know a thing about him, but it turns out Dylan Marlais Thomas (October 27, 1914 – November 9, 1953) was a Welsh poet and writer whose works include the poems “Do not go gentle into that good night” and “And death shall have no dominion.”
He came to be a popular poet while he was alive. Even still, he found earning a living as a writer nearly impossible. So instead of writing, he began doing radio broadcasts and reading tours to help earn some money.
Thomas’ radio recordings for the BBC gained him a bit of notoriety with the public during the late 1940s. He was frequently used by the BBC for a lot of their voice work. He then traveled to the United States, for the first time, in the 1950s. While in America, his readings brought him even more fame.
Through all of it, Thomas had health problems starting as a child. Most like an asthma thing. To make matters worse, he was quite a drinker. Once he arrived in America and found his big britches, his erratic behavior and drinking worsened.
During his fourth trip to New York in 1953, Thomas became gravely ill and fell into a coma. He died on November 9, 1953. And that was that. I wonder how many bridges he burnt along the way.
And with that. Back to the phrase and the quote.
To burn one’s bridges means to commit oneself to a particular course of action with no possibility of turning back.
That’s right. To put it in full perspective:
Cross over the great wide river on that bridge. Then. Turn around. Light a match to that handy bridge and watch it burn into a pile of ashes. Never cross back over that rushing river again on that bridge.
But should we ever burn a bridge?
Well, if you are writing to my advice column, Dear Polly, I’d say, with enthusiasm, “Heckins yeah, but with an asterisk.”
I’d say, in most cases, burning a bridge is probably a bad idea. You never know when you might need a bridge from the past. An old contact or friend. A past agreement or some other such thing.
Yet. On the other hand. Burning a bridge might prove to be a good idea. I would say it is okay to burn those bridges if they are destroying your life. Burn them if they are holding you back. And really light them up if they involve a toxic or volatile person who is ruining you.
If those things are happening, you have to stand up for the good, kind, and positive person that you are. It is our responsibility to ourselves to burn those bridges down to the ground and never look back. We have to remove the negatives in our lives, as hard as that might sometimes be. Some call it letting go. Disconnecting.
Hopefully, deep in our hearts, we will know when someone or something is bad for us. And we will be able to light it up.
Anyway. Perhaps some nice boat will come along and give you a lovely ride across those waters, and you’ll know that you never needed that bridge in the first place.
Of course. It might be all about seeing the river with new eyes.
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“Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.”
― Joseph Fort Newton
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“The view along the bridge is just as beautiful as the other side. Surrender to its beauty.”
― Jennifer Stannard
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“The river is everywhere.”
― Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
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Burning bridges. Or not.
