Some people are better at making conversation than others. I’m terrible at it. Whenever I get in social situations, I have absolutely nothing to say of interest to anyone. And honestly, so many times, I find the “small talk” to be — well — a bit on the tedious side. It all makes me anxious trying to find something to talk about with others.
But as I said. Some people are masters at this. They can glide through the room, sharing quips and anecdotes about their lives. They talk about everything from the weather, to the health of their lawns, to their kid Timmy’s big debut on the baseball diamond.
I’m always trying to learn ways to get better at this myself, in hopes of alleviating some of the stress of “making conversations.”
So. Imagine my surprise when I happened across a recent article entitled, “125 Conversation Starters To Get Anyone Talking.”
Oh. Happy Day.
The article relayed that over half of all Americans report having some anxiety around social situations, and 12% of the population gets anxious enough to meet the criteria for Social Anxiety Disorder, according to data from the National Institute of Mental Health. I’d say that I fall into the upper percentile of the Social Anxiety Disorder realm.
Anyway, they said that making small talk can be challenging regardless of which end of the spectrum you fall on, especially if you’re an introvert, which I am.
So they gave 125 good conversation starters.
Here is a sampler. The first ten.
And then, my thoughts about them.
1. How long have you lived here, and where are you from?
2. Oh, I love your shoes! What made them stand out to you?
3. What is your favorite thing to do or see in this city?
4. What was the last trip you went on?
5. Hey, I was told you have great taste—could I ask your opinion on scarves?
6. I’m thinking of buying a new car. Any recommendations?
7. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you so far today?
8. Have you ever been here before?
9. I’m really excited to see the _______ concert. What are you up to this weekend?
10. Did you see the Grammys/Super Bowl/Oscars/Met Gala/World Cup? What did you think?
And now, my take.
1. How long have you lived here, and where are you from?
This won’t work here in Preble County. Everyone in Preble County has lived in Preble County since the day they were born or longer. And if they are a transplant, they’ve come here a long time ago. Around the time Methuselah was born.
2. Oh, I love your shoes! What made them stand out to you?
C’mon. Really? Hi. I’m Polly. So nice to meet you. Wow! Hey! Nice freaking shoes! Most people around here wear tennis shoes, cowboy boots, or work boots. A lot of women wear sandals, which they probably shouldn’t be wearing. I’m not going to mention that to anyone.
3. What is your favorite thing to do or see in this city?
Again. Preble County. See above.
4. What was the last trip you went on?
This could just go wrong. Given the wide use of narcotics in today’s society, this question might be mistaken for that kind of trip. And frankly, I don’t want to know.
5. Hey, I was told you have great taste—could I ask your opinion on scarves?
What the heck is this? Again. Hi. Polly. I was told you have great taste—could I ask your opinion on scarves? What am I? Some kind of belly dancer doing the Dance of the Seven Veils? Scarves? I haven’t worn a scarf since January. It was fleece and wrapped around my face.
6. I’m thinking of buying a new car. Any recommendations?
This is just goofy to me. If I’m buying a new car, I’m going online to Consumer Reports, or other accredited rating services. I’m looking at safety standards. I’m checking gas mileage. And I’m not going to ask someone here who is most likely driving a Ford pickup truck.
7. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you so far today?
This one seems good in theory. But in practice? I don’t see it happening.
8. Have you ever been here before?
Preble County. See above.
9. I’m really excited to see the _______ concert. What are you up to this weekend?
Again, this won’t work for me. I have not been to a concert since seeing Rod Stewart in the early 1990s. And with my aversion to people and crowds, I don’t plan on going soon. If I were out running around going to concerts, I wouldn’t be needing this list, now would I?
10. Did you see the Grammys/Super Bowl/Oscars/Met Gala/World Cup? What did you think?
Okay. This is one I might be able to use because I watch a lot of sporting events. I can talk about that. On the other hand, I’m a Steelers fan, a Kansas City Chiefs fan, I don’t follow the Reds, the Bengals, or Ohio State University, so I’m walking behind enemy lines. This could spell trouble.
So there they are.
And here I am.
I even fail at the “Help Tips” for introverts.
I should probably just start a blog or something.
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“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” – Henry David Thoreau
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“Our ability to reach unity in diversity will be the beauty and the test of our civilization.” – Mahatma Gandhi
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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard
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Conversation starters for the whole world. Almost.
