I WILL BE TAKING OFF THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF JANUARY FROM BLOG WRITING DUE TO AN EDITING DEADLINE FOR MY UPCOMING BOOK. THANKS FOR READING.
Dumb Bunny.
Smart Ass.
Oh, we’ve heard both of those phrases time and again.
But are bunnies really dumb? And are asses really smart?
I talk a lot about the smartest animals here on this blog. From the crow to the dolphin to the chimpanzee and beyond.
But we all can’t be geniuses, now can we? What about the dumb animals? The animals who mistake their own reflections for rivals? Or the ones who swim in circles because they forgot where they started?
I’ll tell you what: The animal kingdom is brimming with characters who are a few cards short of a full deck.
Mammals and birds generally exhibit more complex cognitive abilities than reptiles, amphibians, and sea creatures. But the truth is, intelligence in the animal kingdom is diverse.
Each species has adapted to its environment, yet some rely on rigid survival strategies, minimal problem-solving, and specialized diets that make them seem “dumb” by human standards.
So, here is a list of the “dumb” animals. For what it’s worth.
Koalas
Koalas have limited cognitive abilities. They also have a highly specialized diet of eucalyptus leaves, which are both low in nutrients and mildly toxic. The list builds. Small-brained. And they struggle with basic problem-solving and often fail to recognize eucalyptus leaves if they’re not attached to tree branches. Good thing they sleep 20 hours a day.
Giant Panda
Although biologically a carnivore, the giant panda relies almost entirely on bamboo. And that is a low-calorie food that provides minimal nutrients. As a result, the giant panda must spend up to 16 hours a day eating to maintain its body weight.
Pandas also face reproductive challenges. Females are only fertile for a few days each year, and both males and females often seem uninterested in mating.
Pandas are also famously clumsy, often injuring themselves by falling from trees or tripping, which can seem unintelligent compared to more agile animals.
Slow Loris
The slow loris, a nocturnal primate from tropical regions. I like these guys. But they are often seen as one of nature’s “dumbest” animals due to their sluggish habits and limited cognitive abilities. Though it’s one of the planet’s few venomous mammals, the slow loris rarely uses this defense.
When they are threatened? They just hold reeeeealllll still. Yep, the slow loris typically remains motionless, relying on camouflage rather than attempting to escape — an approach that leaves it highly vulnerable to predators.
And they don’t adapt to the environment well. This is a factor that contributes to its endangered status. They are not resourceful. At all.
And the rest of the Top 15:
Secretary Bird
Komodo Dragon
Goblin Shark
Horned Lizard
Japanese Giant Salamander
Box Jellyfish
Cane Toad
Turkey
Sloth
Japanese Land Snail
Flamingo
Ostrich
I could write a little more about each one, but you get the drift.
As a sidebar, I have a friend who raises turkeys. She has confirmed that they are dumb animals. In fact, she talks about it time and again. Of course, they wind up on the dinner table at Thanksgiving, but that’s not what makes them so dumb.
Turkeys possess a trait known as “predator imprint.” This means they identify the first thing they see upon hatching as their mother. This can lead to some rather comical situations, such as a turkey following a human, a dog, or even an inanimate object around, believing it to be its parent. While this behavior may seem charming, it is indicative of being pretty darn stupid.
Turkeys also have a bad habit of staring at the sky for extended periods. This behavior, known as “star gazing,” can be so engrossingly intense that turkeys have been known to drown during a rainstorm due to their upturned beaks. This has happened to my friend.
Turkeys are also known for their lack of spatial awareness. They often fly into windows or other solid objects, causing harm to themselves. They also get themselves into precarious situations and have been known to hang themselves. Again, my friend.
So there’s the list of the dumb ones.
But let us always remember: It takes all kinds.
If we didn’t have these stupid animals, what fun would it be to call someone a Slow Loris? And then watch them stare back at you blankly.
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” — Albert Einstein
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“Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” — Mark Twain
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“Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one must not misuse it.” — Pope John Paul II
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