I don’t fish.
I like to eat fish. In fact, love to eat fish. But if I want some fish, I go to a fish market or out to a restaurant.
The thing about me is that I am not one to sit still. If I do, it is either to sleep or meditate. But, sitting in some uncomfortable lawn chair, around some buggy pond, impaling worms with hooks, and removing said hooks from injured fish is really not my thing. For hours upon hours. Wearing a hat adorned with those same worm-gutted fish hooks.
Just a plain old nope for me.
I realize it is a highly popular pastime. Over at the American Sportfishing Association, they tell me that there are approximately 60 million anglers in the U.S., of which 46 million are estimated to fish in a given year. I think there are that many in Preble County alone. I’d put the numbers much higher if I were the statistician.
But people can be quirky about fishing. Hiding their favorite spots or doing rituals to bring them “good fishing luck.” It goes on. But apparently, in England, kissing your catch is a popular tradition. I’m not sure why, but when you catch a fish there, you give it a big smooch on the fish lips.
Take this story.
In 2017, a 28-year-old man in Bournemouth was fishing when he caught a Dover sole. He bent over to kiss the fish. Well. That Dover sole jumped out of his hand and directly into his mouth. Unfortunately, the fish got stuck in the man’s windpipe and caused the guy to stop breathing completely. By the time paramedics got to the scene, the man was in full cardiac arrest. Imagine what the fish must have been thinking. At any rate, the paramedics got there and were able to use forceps to pull the 5.5-inch fish from the man’s throat. The dude made a full recovery. But there was no word about the fish’s condition. I hope he made it back to water.
Here’s another kiss-your-fish tale. Well. Sort of.
This one happened this past May 2022. A man was spearfishing in Thailand and had just come up for air. Right at that moment of big breath, a fish leaped into his open mouth. It was a fish known as an Anabas. That thing wiggled itself down the man’s windpipe, blocking his airway. Some people on shore saw the man was flailing and pulled him out of the water. They rushed him to the hospital, and doctors successfully extracted the fish. Uh. That little fish had been trying to escape through the man’s nasal cavity at the time it was removed. This guy made a full recovery too. But that little fish? Kaput.
Fishing seems risky to me. As many as 24,000 fishermen and persons engaged in fish farming and processing are killed every year. This statistic put fishing and related occupations among the most dangerous of all professions.
So there’s that.
After hearing these delightful stories, and a few others about fishing injuries, I don’t think I’ll be changing my recreational activities any time soon.
I like to see the fish swimming along happily, living their little fish lives.
And on those occasions when I do eat a fish? I’d rather have someone else find it for me. Gill-ty as charged.
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I know the joy of fishes in the river through my own joy, as I go walking along the same river.
— Zhuangzi
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Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
— Henry David Thoreau
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No human being, however great, or powerful, was ever so free as a fish.
— John Ruskin
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Fishy Kiss
