We all do it. Every one of us. It is because we eat and drink. As such, a little while later, we must rid ourselves of the waste product.
The Pee. The Poo.
The bathroom break may not seem extraordinary to many, but believe you me. It is quite a miracle in itself.
However, on occasion, throughout all of the times passed, bathroom breaks have changed the course of history. And I’m here to tell you of a few.
Lyndon Johnson is the first. To start, we must admit Johnson had a fairly mixed legacy. He came through with groundbreaking achievements like the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Acts of 1965. On the other hand, he didn’t handle things very well on the foreign front, in the way of the Vietnam War. Whether Johnson shaped history for better or worse is debatable. But he almost missed his presidency altogether.
Johnson served as a sailor in the Navy. They had been deployed on a bombing mission, and on June 9, 1942, he was supposed to fly on a B26 called the “Wabash Cannonball.”
Right before takeoff, that young sailor Johnson had to take a leak. So, he departed the plane to go to the john. When he came back, Lieutenant Colonel Francis R. Stevens had taken his seat. As such, Johnson had to forfeit his place on that plane and board the next aircraft, another B26 called the “Heckling Hare.”
His pee break was a lucky one. The Heckling Hare saw limited combat. In fact, in a short time, they abandoned their mission. His first plane? The Wabash Cannonball? Not so good. It was shot down by Japanese forces, killing everyone on board. Johnson’s full bladder saved his life.
Here is another bathroom break story on a completely different level. Instead of saving one life, this one cost millions of lives.
It happened back in 1937. It was a time when the tension between Japan and China had reached new levels of hatred and conflict. For the entire decade before 1937, the two countries had a series of escalating military acts between them.
Every time a conflict would arise, they managed to pull their soldiers back before things broke out into an all-out war. All until the Marco Polo Bridge incident.
On July 7, 1937, Japanese troops gathered around the city of Wanping. They were gearing up for yet another conflict. While all this was happening, a private of the Japanese Imperial Army, named Shimura Kikujiro, had to do his business. He broke ranks to let it all loose once he ducked into the privacy of the woods nearby.
Well, it took a little time, and once he got done, he tried to rejoin his unit. But they were long gone. He got a little lost but eventually found his way back to base. He did not know it, but his bowel movement started a movement of a different kind.
While Kikujiro was gone, his absence caused the army to panic. Japanese officers sent troops to Wanping to find their missing soldier.
Well, the Chinese weren’t having it. They refused to let the Japanese enter Wanping. So then the Japanese sent a small unit to get past the city’s walls. The Chinese forced them off. Forty-five minutes later, another larger Japanese group tried again.
And that is when the first shots of the Second Sino-Japanese War were fired. The Japanese had the excuse they had been looking for. This little clash became a good enough reason for a full-scale invasion of China.
Sadly, the resulting conflict was the largest Asian war of the twentieth century. The Japanese were eventually beaten down. They surrendered in September 1945. But that terrible war claimed the lives of more than 33 million soldiers and civilians. So one guy pooping in the woods resulted in an epic catastrophe.
I take a lot of bathroom breaks, and I am thankful I am able to do so. Yet, I’m pretty sure none of my have ever changed history. And I’m hoping it stays that way.
==========
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
— King George V
==========
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
— Bob Hope
==========
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a little flushed!
==========
Going to the potty can change the world.
