It is clear that I like a good quote. Why say it myself, when someone long before me, has said it better? I get a little RSS feed in my email inbox each morning, that drops a single quote on my doorstep. Kind of like a little baby in a basket, except, I can throw it away if I don’t like it. With the bathwater.
This morning the quote was swift. To the point. A few words from Horace, that influential Roman poet. He said:
“Don’t think, just do.”
Sometimes, they get thrown out quicker than others. You see, I’m not entirely sure I agree with Horace on this one. Although, I must admit, Nike picked up on it successfully.
Anyway, just speaking from personal experience, I’ve found a fair share of trouble in my life by not thinking and just doing. I won’t go into the sordid details, but trust me, I would have been better off giving certain situations a little more thought before acting this way, or that. Being reactionary, rarely works out in my favor.
Sometimes, our thinking can get us in trouble, too. I concede to that. But for the most part, when something goes terribly wrong, there was not a lot of good thought behind the process.
This morning, I read where Universal Studios is having some financial troubles. I’m sorry to hear it, as they have put out some fine films, like “Jaws” and “E.T.” and “Despicable Me.”
But they reported today that the astounding box office flop of “Cats” has tanked their profits. Universal’s revenue fell 21% from last quarter, and they are largely blaming Cats. They should have called and asked me first. I would have told them it was a bad idea.
But someone, somewhere in an office of Universal Studios, sat in his office on a Tuesday afternoon eating a tuna salad sandwich. He fixed it just that morning, at home. His wife, never gets up before noon, so he has to fend for himself when it comes to preparing his lunch for the day. When he opened the can of tuna, his cat, Esmerelda, came running and jumped up on the counter to retrieve her favorite can of 9 Lives Liver & Cheese. Of course, Esmerelda had it wrong. The can was actually the Chicken of the Sea. Anyway, Gary — that’s the Universal guy’s name — brushed her aside, and completed the task of preparing his tuna salad. Now, he sat there at his undersized desk, scattered with miserable paperwork, and unwrapped his sandwich. It made him think of Esmerelda and the little kitty song she performs, any time food is involved. She breaks into a melodic series of meows. It’s kind of cute, and it makes him smile. Then it hit Gary. We should make “Cats” into a movie. He leaps from his desk, runs down the hall to the office of the legendary Jimmy Short, the highest ranking film-making big-whig exec in all the land. Jimmy Short is on the phone with the dry cleaners who are explaining to him that they just ruined his $6,000 suit. He waves Gary into his office, cups the phone, and says, “What is it Gary?” Nervously, Gary answers. “Cats. We should do Cats.” Jimmy Short misunderstands. You see, Abraham Katz is the top lawyer at Universal, and Jimmy Short thought that Gary was suggesting they get Abraham Katz to file a law suit against the dry cleaners concerning the $6,000 suit. Once again, Jimmy Short, who is very angry about his favorite suit, cups the phone and says, “Go all out. Go for it, I don’t care what it costs.”
And that’s how the film got rolling. Of course it was a bad idea, spontaneously based on Gary’s tuna salad. What could go more wrong than that? Doomed from the start. After all, the Broadway play, either makes people swoon for it, or completely turns them cold.
So yeah. Universal should have called. I’d have warned them.
Which brings us back to Horace’s quote. “Don’t think, just do.”
A little more thinking at Universal would have helped. Now they wouldn’t be in this financial pit.
As for the rest of the story, it all fell back on Gary. He tried to point the finger at Jimmy Short, which was another bad idea. Gary was fired. Then his wife divorced him, which wasn’t entirely bad. She was seeing some ad exec over at Columbia Pictures. Gary moved to Boise, where he now works at a Pet Store. He gets to take care of the cats, and it makes him happy, even though he has to scoop kitty poo three times a day. He’s never seen the movie.
=========
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
=========
“Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.”
― Voltaire, Traité sur la tolérance, à l’occasion de la mort de Jean Calas
========
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.”
― Henry Ford
=========
