I’m against shaming our dogs with those signs that hang around their necks. While it may be hilarious on social media, it is not so funny to the dog.
They know what we’re saying.
Let’s get this out of the way, first thing, though. You don’t see it happening very often with cats, and I’ll tell you why. Oh hell. I don’t need to tell you why. Cats are so haughty they wouldn’t have any part of this. People would lose entire limbs if they attempted to hang a sign around a cat’s neck which read, “Ate the whole bowl of tuna salad Mom fixed herself for lunch, and the crackers too.”
Cats have a little bit of angry in them at all times, just waiting to spring out. You can see it especially in the cats that let you pet them, acting like they are in complete bliss, and suddenly they reel up, grab your arm, and bite you. They remind me of a smiling Joan Crawford. There’s something diabolical underneath.
Anyway, back to the signs of shaming. The dogs know, but they are so darn big hearted that they let us have our way. They’ll even dip their heads down, making it easier to hang that sign around their necks. Of course they know what it says. They are god-creatures.
In the morning, as I’m making my way around the kitchen, getting things out in preparation for my breakfast, Lou comes in and sits in front of the refrigerator, expectantly. He knows his breakfast is soon in the order of the morning. When it’s finally time, I glance over and casually say, “It’s time Lou. Did you tell your Sissy?” Now, that is the only time of the day that I refer to Ollie as his “Sissy.” But he jumps, turns, and runs into the other room, jumps around again, and comes skidding back into the kitchen. Ollie is not far behind and the three of us walk to the breakfast bowls.
Dogs are extremely smart and rarely make mistakes. It is the human faction that is stupid. We are the ones who should be wearing the signs. Dogs act on knowledge and instinct. If there were steak bones in the garbage can, which is sitting on the floor in that dog’s reach, of course it is a magnificent invitation for the dog. You’ve provided steak bones, in a large plastic tub. How very nice of you. So when everything else you’ve managed to jam in that tub is all over the floor now too, who’s fault is it? It was all right there for the taking.
There seem to be a lot of shaming signs about dogs and their humping habits. Well, those people should quit their humping then too. Let’s see how that goes. Or better yet, every time they’ve engaged in a sexual encounter, with someone else or alone, they should wear a sign to work, letting the world know the same thing.
“I will hump anything in sight.” How about wearing that to the cubicle?
Anyway, my point is this. Why make them wear the signs at all? Of course the person posting the photo will get “likes” on social media. That must make them feel good in some way. But my idea goes something like this. Why not spend all that time, making that sign, setting up the shot, taking the photo, and posting it on Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook — why not spend it playing with the dog? Rolling around on the floor with him? What about a nice walk? Or just sitting together, reading a book?
I bet those dogs would quit peeing in your closets, tearing up your toilet paper, and relocating all your socks.
And that would be a real sign.
A sign of something really good.
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“You think those dogs will not be in heaven! I tell you they will be there long before any of us.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson
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“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
― Will Rogers
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“I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.”
― Abraham Lincoln
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