I’ve never been to Norway. And I am not sure why it is on my mind, other than I wrote about Norway Rats yesterday, and its lingering, somehow.
Of course, I need to clear the air on them. I felt we should know the reason why they are called Norwegian or Norway rats. As it turns out, they didn’t even originate there. Brown rats were first known as Hanover rats. People were associating them with the House of Hannover in England during the 18th century. When all that was happening, an English naturalist, named John Berkenhout, said they came to England via Norwegian ships in 1728. He was just spitballing folks. They didn’t come from Norway. Their little English accents were dead giveaways.
Anyway, Norway is on my mind. The closest I came was a couple of visits to Copenhagen and Stockholm. I loved both of those cities, and the entire landscape in that region is beautiful. It turns out, Norway is every bit as cool.
First, let’s start out with a little piece about their commerce. Norway’s oil fund is worth well over one trillion dollars. But get this. The country only spends 3% of the fund each year because they are saving it for the next generation. Can you imagine living in a country geared toward saving money for its future? Pretty brilliant if you ask me.
They think differently there. Wholesomely. A good example happened back in 2013. The (then) Prime Minister of Norway, Jens Stoltenberg, went undercover as a taxi driver in Oslo. He went incognito to “hear from real Norwegian voters.” He said that taxis were one of the few places where people shared their true views. I can’t imagine any of our big politicians doing something like this.
Speaking of our politicians, the Norwegians use an American term in their slang. In Norway, the word “Texas” means crazy. I don’t think you need any help figuring that one out.
But let’s face it. For all the good things about Norway, there is no getting around the fact that it is cold. In July, their warmest month, the high temperature is only 70 degrees. And when a place is cold and dark, people need things to keep them entertained.
Reading is one of those things. Norwegians read more than any other population in the world. Each person shells out, on average, around 500 NOK (US $76) a year for books. More than 2,000 book titles are published annually.
Another thing. When someone publishes a new book in Norway, their Arts Council buys 1000 copies of that book. They then distribute them to libraries. If it is a children’s book, they buy 1500 copies. They do this because it keeps many publishers alive and well, and it also supports writers while they’re still working on building their careers.
Along with books, they like what is called “Slow TV.” It is just like it sounds. Slow TV is long coverage of seemingly mundane and ordinary events. People love it there. They regularly show programs or documentaries that are long, long. Long. Some of these shows include a 376-hour boat voyage, 60 hours of choirs singing, and 12 hours of knitting. The first slow TV show was a program called Bergensbanen. This was a minute to minute train journey across the southern part of Norway. It lasted seven hours. I think it might be a lot like watching the paint dry. But let’s not put it past them.
One more thing about this place. If writing doesn’t pan out for me, and I turn to a life of crime? I’m going to Norway to do so. You see, over there in Halden prison, the guards are encouraged to interact with inmates by “playing sports, eating, and doing other types of activities together.” They believe this prevents any hostility between guards and inmates and gives them more a sense of family. But that’s not all. It is a maximum-security prison, yet, all of its 10-square-meter cells have a flat-screen TV, a toilet and a shower, and fluffy towels. I should note, their crime rate is incredibly low.
All these good things? These fine Norwegians?
A Norse is a Norse, of course, of course.
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“In the winter she curls up around a good book and dreams away the cold.”
― Ben Aaronovitch, Broken Homes
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“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”
― Carl Reiner
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“The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house. All that cold, cold, wet day.”
― Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat
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No way? Norway. Yes way.
