“I’m gonna need a sneaky spy. Any slinky volunteers?”
Those might have been the words that George Washington spoke on today’s date, September 10, 1776. Or something close. Maybe he said, “handsome spies.” Or “brave spies.” Nathan Hale stepped forward as his volunteer no matter what words he used.
Arguably, it wasn’t Nathan’s best decision. It would end up costing him his life.
Nathan Hale was born just 21 years earlier, on June 6, 1755. An American Patriot, for sure, serving in the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War. As noted, he volunteered for an intelligence-gathering mission in New York City for his good General Washington. But spying may not have been his strong suit, as he was captured by the British and executed.
His mission was to go behind enemy lines and report on British troop movements. His army pals took him on a little boat across the Long Island Sound to Huntington, New York, in the midst of British-controlled Long Island.
Hale’s big plan was to disguise himself as a Dutch schoolteacher looking for work. Not the brightest bulb, I think, for he didn’t disguise himself very well. He used his actual name and carried his Yale diploma bearing his real name along with him.
Now, if I were a Redcoat? And I came across a Dutch guy named Nathan Hale? Well, that sounds pretty American English to me. He should have chosen a Dutch name, like Sven Van Dijk, or Luuk Janssen.
Apparently, a guy named Major Robert Rogers of the Queen’s Rangers was thinking along the same lines as I do. He figured Hale out pretty quickly when he saw him in a tavern. This Major Rogers pretended to be a Patriot and lured Hale into his trap. Rogers and his Rangers apprehended Hale.
We know how it ended for Nathan Hale. Found guilty of treason and hanged from a tree, but not before saying, “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”
Poor kid. Terrible spy. I mean, he was as wholesome as they came—young, honest, hard-working. Milk drinker, I bet. Nathan probably never told a lie in his life. And to be a spy, you have to lie like a rug.
Two things about his story that made me think of all of us. Humans.
1. He pretended.
2. He spied.
If we think about it, we all do both of these things from time to time. Especially in the way of social media. In fact, it is the perfect forum for pretending. And for spying.
Many people pretend, to a certain degree, when they are on social media. Things are a little bigger, better, more interesting, or more intense than they might be in real life. This goes both ways, for the good and bad of people’s lives.
And then others of us “pretend” when we go through and click the “like” button, time after time. Sometimes we give the thumbs up out of politeness, kindness, or just to say we’ve seen a post. But in reality, we might now give a rat’s booty about the thing. Perhaps we even dislike it.
Then the spying. Social media is a little like stalking. Lingering about, seeing what people are doing, how they are behaving, finding out what they’ve been up to. Some of us spy more than others.
So here’s to Nathan Hale, spy, and pretender. And to all of us, too, spying and pretending in our own ways. Even in matters of patriotism.
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“And I’m not spying! I’m evaluating!”
“It’s the same difference!”
― Kim Harrison, Early to Death, Early to Rise
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“I spy with my little eye that if I had a bigger eye I’d be a better spy!”
― John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
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“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
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Spy. Pretend. It’s what we do.
