I’ve been to Minnesota. Not just to fly through an airport, but I spent a whole month there one time, in the dead of winter. Here is what I can tell you about Minnesota at that time of year. It is cold.
Regardless, ever since then, I have had a fondness in my heart for Minnesota. I root for the Vikings during football season, and the Twins during baseball. I cheer on the Minnesota colleges too. And what the heck. Prince hailed from MN.
The name “Minnesota” comes from Dakota Indian words meaning “sky-tinted waters” or “sky-blue waters.” I did not see this while I was there. As I mentioned, it was in the dead of gray winter, and everything was frozen as frock.
Minnesota. I always judge a state’s age by where it came in, according to Ohio (my birth state). Ohio was number 17 in 1803. Minnesota entered the union in 1858. So yeah, later. It was number 32 to hop on board.
Size-wise, in land measure, it is the 12th-largest state in the U.S — much bigger than Ohio, which ranks 34th in land size.
Since I seem to be stuck on statistics, I may as well report on the people. There are a total of 5.8 million Minnesotians. Minnestotites? Minnesopioodles? People. That ranks them at 22nd. Ohio is 17th with 11.8 million people here, over half of who are misguided. I’ll leave it at that.
I mentioned that Minnesota was frozen. When I say that, I meant in terms of ice cubes. Big ice cubes. You see, Minnesota has quite a lot of water area with all its lakes and rivers. Its nickname is the “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” but it really has lots more. And it’s where the world’s third-largest river, the Mississippi, begins.
But surprisingly, it is ninth in total water area. Number one in Alaska. Even Texas and New York rank higher in water-area than Minnesota. I would have lost that bet, I’ll tell you. But in Minnesota, when the water freezes, they all drive their big trucks out onto the ice and hang out. That is a bet I would never take with my own car.
And since we are talking about the water, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention their state bird. It is the common loon. There are more loons in Minnesota than in any other state except Alaska. I’ve never heard one in real life, but I remember a scene in a movie. I think it was from “On Golden Pond” when the loon was calling. Or maybe it was Katherine Hepburn yodeling. Either way. I like a loon. I should also mention that today is Katherine Hepburn’s birthday, having been born on May 12, 1907, nowhere near Minnesota, but in Connecticut.
Oh, but Minnesota. The water, the land. It has all been there for so long. I’m not sure where Minnesota was at the start of things, because Earth is 4.543 billion years old. But it is believed by archaeologists with those little chisels, that humans first entered Minnesota roughly 9,000 to 12,000 years ago. Those ancient people came and made Minnesota their home.
So, for 12,000 years, that land was theirs. And they took darn good care of it. Then, in the 1600s, the French came through with their guns and started squatting wherever they wanted, pushing the Indians westward. The British followed with their guns, and they moved the French out. Finally, the United States took control of the area “owned” by Britain after the American Revolution in 1781. The U.S. did this with their guns.
And that is how I eventually found my way to Minnesota. All of us, really. Sadly.
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“To some life is a complaint, to some it is a competition and to some it is a conquest.”
― Amit Kalantri
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“A more secret, sweet, and overpowering beauty appears to man when his heart and mind open to the sentiment of virtue.“
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
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“This man has conquered the world! What have you done?”
The philosopher replied without an instant’s hesitation, “I have conquered the need to conquer the world.”
― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War
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The cold watery place that wasn’t really ours
