September is upon us, which means Fall is near. Yes, the Autumn Equinox for 2021 in our Northern Hemisphere will be at 3:20 PM on Wednesday, September 22. Have a nice trip. See you next fall.
Autumn is a time when the plants and trees either die or go into hiding. Things shrivel up and turn brown and gray.
So I thought it might be interesting to hear some stories about how people have gone their shriveled way, in their “Great Fall” of life.
One of the most popular stories of passing is about the Pringles guy. The guy’s name was Fred Bauer. He was the Procter & Gamble employee who devised the idea of stacking Pringles into cans. When he passed away, he asked that his family bury him in one of his signature cans. My only worry is that they got the right Pringles can in the right place and that old Fred didn’t end up at a party somewhere.
There seems to be a trend that way. Another man, Renato Bialetti, was famed for popularizing the stove-top, octagonal espresso maker. When he kicked the can, he also asked that his remains be buried in the thing that was most important to him in life. His ashes were placed in one of his coffee pots and buried next to his late wife. I don’t know what she was buried in, but a creamer set would have been nice.
Sometimes people asked to be placed into weird things. On other occasions, they take weird things with them. Like Frank Sinatra. The man drank like a fish. Reportedly, he drank a bottle of Jack Daniel’s every day. So, it is no surprise that he was buried with one.
Michael Jackson went to the grave with a single white sparkly glove. It was the same glove he wore in his various Thriller music videos from the 1980s.
George Burns asked to be buried next to his wife Gracie, of course. But he also wanted three of his favorite cigars in his coffin.
And then we have David Brenner, the comedian and frequenter on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He went to the grave with small bills, $100 of them, tucked into his left sock, “Just in case tipping is recommended where I’m going.”
What about when entire cultures follow customs, not like ours?
In Tibet, there are “sky burials.” This is when the bodies of the dead are offered to the birds. Many there, especially Buddhists, sometimes cut the body up into pieces and leave them on a hill for the birds to feast on. Buddhists view our dead bodies as empty vessels. So, they consider this an act of charity and compassion. For the birds. The phrase has new meaning.
Take a turn to South Korea. Many people there decide to compress the remains of the dead person into gem-like beads in various colors. Then they display the beads in their homes.
“Nice bowl of beads.”
“That’s Aunt Mildred.”
And. Let us not forget the finger amputation in Papua New Guinea. This practice occurred among the Dani People. The death of a loved one meant that any women and children related to the deceased had to cut off some of their fingers. They did this to drive away bad spirits. Now, this is banned.
Of course, here in the United States, it is the common thing that puts people under. According to the CDC, powered lawnmowers kill more than 200 people yearly. And, that same report shows that 2,167 people died between 1999 and 2014 due, simply, to “Constipation.”
And all of this is no load of crap.
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“It kills me sometimes, how people die.”
― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
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“Unbeing dead isn’t being alive.”
― E. E. Cummings
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“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”
― Mitch Albom
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The fall of Fall, and of us too.
