“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” — Abraham Lincoln
Tact. That is quite a thing. As wise Abe mentioned, it is adroitness and sensitivity when dealing with others. Or perhaps, difficult situations.
And oftentimes, we lose our tactfulness when we tell a joke.
After April Fools Day, several people asked if I had ever written about the origins of the day. They wanted to know when April Fools started and why.
I found there is no clear answer as to the exact origin of this Tom Foolery.
Some historians have linked April Fools’ Day to the ancient Roman festival of “Hilaria.” Maybe it was hilarious. The festival happened at the end of March, and people would gather to commemorate the resurrection of the god Attis. He was the god of vegetation, and his resurrection signified the rebirth of life each Spring season. It was a celebration of renewal. The people would dress up in disguises and imitate others. That’s one theory.
Another possibility is linked to the medieval celebration of the Feast of Fools. This one sounds like fun. There would elect a mock bishop or pope, and then they’d all get together and mock church customs. Parodies and skits. That seems like a viable candidate.
The next explanation comes later, during the 16th century. It happened when France switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar.
The Julian calendar’s New Year began in March. This was marked by the spring equinox and was celebrated until April 1st. But, when they switched to the Gregorian calendar, the new year began on January 1. Like now.
However, news traveled slowly back then. As such, not everyone knew about the new, new year. In addition, there were a big bunch of people who were not willing to change the calendar. Those people who continued to celebrate in the spring were often ridiculed and made the butt of jokes. Fools, they were called. Not only that, people would tape a paper fish on a person’s back. They were called “poisson d’avril,” or “April Fish.”
So who really knows about the true start of April Fools. Maybe it’s a combination.
Yet, the real question is, who is this Tom Foolery fellow? I’m here to tell you.
If a person was of little intelligence during the Middle Ages, he was called a Thome Fole. Eventually, this morphed into the spelling tomfool. And soon, that became capitalized. The meaning also began to include people like professional clowns or someone acting like a buffoon in a stage play.
And you can see the connection that came with Tom Foolery representing playful or foolish behavior. I like Tom Foolery.
Meanings change and shift, as does everything else in this world. That would include jokes.
It has been my observation that jokes have become fewer and further between. When I was growing up, everyone told jokes. All the way through early adulthood. They were sometimes slurs about race or country. About sexuality or religion. About blondes and the Polish. How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
Nothing was sacred.
Thankfully, through an expanded awareness, many of us now understand how harmful these can be. Many jokes have a way of delivering a hidden, negative message. Some are blatant, yet other times we may not realize the hurtful message we are sending.
Joking can set up a strong message of either being on the inside or outside. When an entire group is being targeted, such “humor” can damage someone’s sense of self-worth, at the very least.
When we practice responsible dialogue, we are helping the world. It is true. This dialogue takes great skill. It requires energy on our part, not to mention intelligence and insight.
This is one way we can show empathy and compassion for our fellow humans. To hear meaning beyond the words and act accordingly is an incredible display of character and integrity. Not to mention tact.
And in a world that is often not very funny, this is no joke.
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The highest form of knowledge is empathy.”
– Bill Bullard
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“Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.”
– Dalai Lama
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“Let our hearts be stretched out in compassion toward others, for everyone is walking his or her own difficult path.”
– Dieter F. Uchtdorf
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The inside joke is no joke. Just ask Abe.
