We are humans.
Humans have needs.
Upfront and mostly, before we can do anything else, our physiological needs must be met. Otherwise, we, as humans, cannot function.
We are a no-go.
And these needs are things we all know well.
The most basic needs include air, water, food, shelter, sleep, and clothing.
Here in America, we have certain rules to keep those things going.
Agencies have been created to protect these things.
And one of those agencies is the FDA. The Food and Drug Administration.
They are what they sound like. They administer our food and drugs. Specifically, you ask? Well. They are responsible for “protecting the public health by ensuring the safety, efficacy, and security of human and veterinary drugs, biological products, medical devices, our nation’s food supply, cosmetics, and products that emit radiation.”
There.
They try to do a good job. But sometimes, they have to offer a little leeway in certain areas. A little breathing room for certain products to be produced. I am here to tell you about a few of those things.
• Cigarette butts are allowed in spices. Yep. When it comes to certain spices, the FDA allows cigarette butts to be included under the label “foreign matter” when describing food contaminants. They are usually found in black pepper, white pepper, and mixed in with sesame seeds. And all this time, I thought I had quit.
• If your raisins are crunchy, it may be for good reason. The FDA allows for up to 40 milligrams of sand per 100 grams of raisins. Those grapes must be lying on the beach in order to dry and shrivel up into raisins. Living the good life, I suppose.
• It is no secret here that I love mice. Yet. I like to see them, not eat them. But don’t mind me because the FDA has established standards for the amount of rodent hair acceptable in food. Their laws address the size and quantity of the rodent hair follicles in food. So. In the case of peanut butter, for instance, one hair per 100 grams of food is considered acceptable. That’s about four or five tablespoons of PB. Reese Cups included folks.
• That’s just the peanut butter side of a Reese Cup. What about the chocolate? Well, the news might be worse. The FDA allows a certain number of insect fragments in food, which includes cocoa powder. For every 50 grams of cocoa powder, the FDA allows up to 75 pieces of insect fragments. It gives new meaning to the word Beetlejuice.
• You could put down that candy bar and get healthy with some veggies or tomato juice. Or perhaps you just have the occasional Bloody Mary. Well, I have one thing to say. Maggots. Maggots are fly larvae, usually found on any organic matter in the process of decaying. The bad news is that maggots may also be found in your food. The FDA allows for up to 20 maggots per 100 grams of canned mushrooms, up to two maggots per 100 grams of tomato juice, and up to a single maggot per 250 ml of citrus juice. Hey! I could have had a V-8!
I was going to tell you more things that the FDA allows, like the parasites on your fish, or the feces in your corn meal. But I’ll stop now.
If this all sounds bad, just think if we didn’t have the FDA to protect the processes of food production. Besides, a few spider legs and rat hairs just might toughen us up. So until the next time, be safe out there. In your pantry.
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“Food is essential to life; therefore, make it good.” – Gordon Ramsay
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“The secret of a happy life is to accept and enjoy the little things in it. And one of the little things in life is good food.” – Julia Child
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“The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” – Mark Twain
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Those things we don’t see as we put them in our mouths
