Laws are supposed to keep things orderly.
We know how it goes. Don’t steal. Don’t hurt people. Stop at red lights. The right and the wrong of things.
But to have laws, we need lawmakers. Those people who decide what a society can and cannot do.
But sometimes lawmakers lose sight of the bigger picture. They get oddly specific when a certain situation presents itself. And that’s usually when things get a bit strange.
Take Arkansas, for example. In Little Rock, you’re not allowed to honk your car horn near a sandwich shop after 9 p.m. Not near hospitals. Not near schools. But no honking near sandwich shops. I don’t know the reason for this. It seems a little ridiculous, but maybe someone choked to death on a sandwich when startled by a big honk.
Okay. Then there’s Alabama. You are not allowed to play dominoes in pool halls or cigar shops. It is simply not allowed. Supposedly, it is because they’re considered a “game of chance.” But wait. There’s more. Apparently, certain towns with populations between exactly 56,500 and 59,000 are exempt. That is one fat domino rule. Sorry. No tiles for you.
Over in Vermont, history often smiles. So there is this. A 19th-century law required women to get their husband’s permission before wearing false teeth. It grew out of a legal dispute over who was responsible for paying a dental bill. Sadly, the law is a reminder of just how recently women were treated as financial extensions of their spouses.
New York City is considered one of the fashion capitals of the world. But the city once banned slippers in public establishments after 10 p.m. Now, if you wanted to wear pajamas or bathrobes, you would have been okay. But slippers crossed the line. It’s unclear who this law was meant to stop. But seemingly, this was a problem at one time.
And finally, we go to the state of Washington. Let me tell you this. Killing Bigfoot is a felony there. It will get you five years in prison and a $10,000 fine. Most people just want to get a glimpse of this guy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say they’d like to kill him. But there it is. The law came after reported sightings in the 1960s. And today it is still on the books. Just in case.
Just another public service announcement from me to you. In the event that you plan on traveling to any of these places, I’m trying to help you stay out of trouble.
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“Laws are like sausages. It is better not to see them being made.”
— Otto von Bismarck
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“Law is often but the tyrant’s will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual.”
— Thomas Jefferson
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“The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots.”
— Erich Fromm
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“Absurdity is the essence of bureaucracy.”
— Thomas Paine
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