Here we are living in the great United States of America. Oh, I know some of us have our complaints, and the U.S. is far from perfect. Yet, it is a heck of a lot better than many other places, depending on where you stand.
It wasn’t good enough for Lee Harvey Oswald. There’s proof. It was on this very date, October 10, 1959, that Lee signed the guestbook in a hotel located in Helsinki. Trust me. He wasn’t sightseeing in Helsinki. The next day, he crossed the border into the Soviet Union at Vainikkala and arrived in Moscow on October 16. He wished to become a citizen of the Soviet Union and told the U.S. embassy he was fed up with America. Oswald said, “I have made up my mind,” he said, “I’m through.”
Well, we know the rest of the story. But Oswald didn’t see all there is to see about this great country. There is so much everywhere we turn, here in the USofA.
He grew up in Texas. Actually, he died in Texas too. I bet he didn’t know that Texas is the only state not required to fly its flag lower than the U.S. flag. The other 49 have to bow in respect. But not Texas. I might add here that it is illegal to cuss in front of the dead or buried in Texas. So, if you travel down there to tell Mr. Oswald a thing or two, be sure to keep your voice down. In Big, Big Texas.
They may think they are at the center of things, but they are not. In fact, Rugby, North Dakota, is the geographical center of North America. I should not find it curious then that North Dakota has very few earthquakes. They’ve only had 13 between 1915 and 2015. Solid ground.
They are far away from the oceans too. But the truth is, around 50 percent of the U.S. lies beneath the ocean. I’m not sure if these are past real estate deals gone bad or if we have more islands than Hawaii. But, I bet in the next few years, this underwater percentage will increase.
However, right now? The United States has 9.8 million square kilometers of landmass, making it the third-largest country in the world. Surprisingly, the U.S. tops the landmass of China. Russia is the largest. Canada, next. Then us.
And for as big as we are, you would think there’d be more diversity. But no. One in eight Americans has worked at a McDonald’s restaurant. I am not one.
Those McDonald’s workers fill up the drink cups with ice. They do. All the other fast food places too. You see, it makes for larger profit margins. But get this. If all Americans used one-third less ice in their drinks, the United States would become a net exporter instead of importer of energy. Don’t blame this diabolical scheme on Mr. Freeze, and don’t call Batman. We need to quit using so much ice.
Since we are on the subject of beverages, I may as well tell you this. In the 1970s, the average American drank 30 gallons of milk each year. I might have had more. Today, the average person consumes only 18 gallons per year. This milk-drinking dip is due to Americans guzzling more soft drinks, sports drinks, and other beverages. Like water in plastic bottles.
This may be directly related to the fact that the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has an actual website devoted to “zombie preparedness.” Got Milk? ( https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm )
I can only tell you this. The Moon is slowly moving away from the Earth at a rate of 3.8 centimeters every year.
As we have seen here, it may be for good reason.
Perhaps Lee Harvey Oswald envisioned a United States filled with non-milk-drinking Zombies. Or then again, maybe he was one.
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How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like kleenex?
― Julia Child
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In America, anyone can become President. That’s the problem
– George Carlin
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Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.
—Dan Rather
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This land is your land, so don’t cuss at the buried
