Yesterday, I gave a brief look at smart man Hippocrates. I mentioned that Bill & Ted might pronounce that like the animal “hippo” and “crates” like wooden boxes. And this, in return, had me thinking about hippos today.
They are incredible beasts.
Hippopotamus. I should say, right off the bat, the common hippo isn’t endangered. However, it is vulnerable to extinction. Scientists estimated that between 115,000 and 130,000 common hippos remain in the wild. Hippos were once found throughout all of sub-Saharan Africa. But we humans have to screw things up. And as such, populations have declined due to habitat loss and hunting. Now, if you want to see a hippo in the wild, you must go to the primarily confined protected areas in East African countries.
I’m going to have to be satisfied with Fiona and Fritz.
Most people know that hippos are large semi-aquatic mammals. They aren’t really the most attractive of animals. Well, in in a cute way, I suppose. I mean, they have these large barrel-shaped bodies, and squatty little short legs. And sitting at the front of all of that are their enormous heads. And how about that complexion? A nice gray to muddy-brown skin. But hey. Let’s face it. They can pull off a tutu like no other great beast.
Hippos are considered the second largest land animal on Earth. The first-place prize goes to the elephant. Male hippos measure almost 12 feet long and 5 feet tall. They can weigh over 7,000 pounds. So that is like three small cars.
Most people don’t know that they are vegetarian. Yes, they are herbivores, and eat mostly grass. A whole big bunch of grass. Also, they do this mostly at night.
They spend a lot of time in the water to keep cool. And. Despite their enormous size, hippos are great swimmers and can hold their breath for up to five minutes underwater. When completely submerged, their ears and nostrils fold shut to keep water out.
I mentioned Fiona and Fritz, the two recent hippo babies at the Cincinnati Zoo. Well. Good thing. Female hippos, called cows, give birth every two years, usually to a single calf.
Okay, I said they were kind of cute in an ugly way. But don’t try to cuddle one. The hippopotamus is a very aggressive wild creature. In fact, it is the deadliest large land mammal on the planet. They estimate that hippo attacks kill 500 people each year in Africa. Walt Disney wanted them to be in all the waterways at Disneyland but quickly found out this was a terrible idea.
Finally, in the wild, hippos live for around 40 years. In captivity, they tend to live longer and may reach up to 50 years old. And that is what I know about hippos.
But given their name, they may be the hippest animal on the planet. And of course, the hippest hippo has to be Hyacinth from Fantasia. She made her first appearance in that movie back in 1941. For those who don’t know, she was a ballet dancer who appeared in the segment, Dance of the Hours. And she was the one who first rocked the tutu.
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“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?”
— Mitch Hedberg
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“There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.”
— Carl Sandburg
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“Everything in nature invites us constantly to be what we are.”
— Gretel Ehrlich
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Who could be the hippest? O. Hip. O.
