There is so much on this earth I have not seen. I’ve traveled a fair amount in my life, although not nearly as much as some, and way more than others. But I would venture a bet that no one has ever seen it all. There’s just too much.
I am always amazed when I hear of a new place, or a thing, that sits on this same big ball coated with basalt and granite. We’re all touching the same surface, you know. I wish people would remember this.
Anyway, I learned of a bit of weirdness that sits in Bern, Switzerland.
It is called the Kindlifresser, or the “Child Eater.”
It is a fountain with a statue on top and a huge one at that. I’ve never seen it with my own eyes, and I’m thankful, I think. It depicts a baby half stuffed into a giant’s mouth. He also carries a sack full of three screaming tots slung over his shoulder. One is strapped to his belt. I think he is probably saving these for a snack, a little later.
It has been around for quite some time, having been built in 1546. As such, it is one of the oldest fountains in the city of Bern.
But the thing of it is, no one knows for sure why it is there. They don’t know who commissioned it or the reason why. There are theories far and wide on this, but here are the main three.
The first is also the most unfortunate one. It suggests that the Kindlifresser was built as a warning to the “long ago” Jewish community of Bern. The Baby Eater wears a hat that is said to be incredibly similar to one that Jews were forced to wear at that time. The Jews’ hats were yellow and pointed and called a Judenhut. To me, they look nothing alike. So I’m throwing this baby out with the bathwater.
The second theory is that the terrifying Ogre is a depiction of Kronos. Let me say here. There is no relation to my nicknames of old, which included Krony, and Krono. This guy, Kronos, was arguably one of the most disturbing figures in Greek Mythology. There is a long story about Kronos. But if we cut to the heart of the matter, he eats all his godchildren to keep them from taking over his throne. Again, I don’t like this theory either, as Kronos was always half-nakers and had a long gray beard. The child eater is clothed. No beard.
The final theory is that the Kindlifresser is supposed to be the older brother of Duke Berchtold, the founder of Bern. This older brother was supposed to be extremely jealous of little Duke. The elder was overshadowed by his younger brother for many years, and this caused him to go mad. Well, the nameless older brother eventually flew off into a rage and collected all the town’s children. And then he ate them. Needed salt, I bet. I think if this really happened, it might have been written down in the town’s history books. There’s no mention of him. This one gets my veto too.
Here’s my take. I don’t think he’s eating the kids at all. You know how you open your mouth and breath fog on your glasses before you wipe them off? Well, I think this guy is cleaning the kids. He’s breathing on the top of the toddler’s head before he gives him a good shine. I think it was a statue in a fountain filled with fresh water, telling the people of Bern to keep their kids clean. The Baby Cleaner. KindiReiniger.
But I have OCD. So, that might be why I see it this way.
No matter.
The truth is? Things aren’t always as they seem.
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I am a great admirer of mystery and magic. Look at this life – all mystery and magic.
— Harry Houdini
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All genius is a conquering of chaos and mystery.
— Otto Weininger
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The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
— Al McGuire
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Who would eat a kid? This guy. Or not.
