We spend a lot of time swiping.
But what about the fine art of wiping? Yes. Really. Wiping.
There are some things in life we don’t talk about enough. Taxes. Mosquitoes. And apparently, how to wipe your butt correctly.
I only mention this because I came across a news article on this very topic. The magazine interviewed dermatologist Dr. Curtis Asbury. He said he sees the problem all the time. Those people coming in with red, sore behinds and no clue what went wrong.
He tells us that the culprit is a poor wiping technique.
Yes, there is such a thing. It even has a medical name: perianal dermatitis.
And for those who take the “scrub until it squeaks” approach, there’s a charming term from the American Society of Colon and Rectal Surgeons: Polished Anus Syndrome.
Turns out, keeping your backside happy isn’t complicated. It’s just about being kind to your skin.
First rule: They say to ditch the wet wipes. Even the “all-natural” ones can leave behind chemical preservatives that irritate our booties. We probably wouldn’t rub a scented wipe all over your face and call it clean. So we shouldn’t do that to our most sensitive parts.
Second rule: They say we should consider water our new best friend. Whether it’s a fancy bidet or a humble squirt bottle. Supposedly, water cleans better than dry paper ever could. The ancient Romans knew this. But they used the good old sponge-on-a-stick method. We probably should not bring this one back. But I don’t think I’ll be carting around a squirt bottle with me either.
Third rule: Be gentle. Again. This goes back to the water method. Once we’re all clean and tidy, we should pat dry softly. No scrubbing. No enthusiastic polishing. Apparently, a little moisture left behind can cause irritation or even fungal issues.
And finally, front to back, please. Especially important for women, but good practice all around.
The truth is, we spend a lot of time on self-care in all other parts of our bodies. It may be time to give our rears the respect they deserve.
I wonder how the toilet paper companies will feel about all of this. That proposed water method.
All I know is that I’m not giving up my Charmin anytime soon.
And always remember. A happy bottom makes for a happier day.
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“Cleanliness is not next to godliness, it is godliness.” — Abhijit Naskar
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“Hygiene is two-thirds of health.” — Lebanese proverb
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“The greatest wealth is health.” — Virgil
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“A sense of humor is the only divine quality of man.” — Arthur Schopenhauer
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