Some days, Canada is sounding awfully good. Undeniably good. In fact, I’d probably have packed it up by now, if I were the only one involved in the choice. I would learn the National Anthem on the first day, and all the Provinces too. Like Manitoba, and Nunavut.
But for now, we are here in the United States of America, and all it entails. And Mama always said, “If you can’t say something nice…”
Not that I ever had a mama. It was just plain old “Mom” and she used to say things like, “Polly, pick up your socks.”
Anyway, the U.S. has its points. We have more Olympic medals than any other country in the world. Not that anyone is counting, and I’m sure this bodes well with our foreign relations. So scratch that one.
How about something else we share with other countries? Space. The Star Trek kind. Yes, Americans are the only ones to have ever left their footprints on the surface of the moon. Again, others may be jealous, so let’s drop that for now.
Speaking of space, what about the “office” kind? The United States has the world’s largest office building. Never mind that it is the Pentagon and also runs our very big military, which is set up to defend ourselves from the other country-monsters.
I’m striking out on foreign relations.
Let’s try food. Before the Coronavirus, we ate out a lot. In fact, more than nine in every 10 Americans have eaten pizza in the last month. By some estimates, Americans consume the equivalent of about 100 acres of pizza every day. We love that pizza, apparently. By the square acre.
Fast food in general, seems to be the American way. Again, before COVID, about 84.8 million adults – 37% of the adult population – consume fast food. Yesterday, it was reported, right here in Preble County, that the drive-thru line for McDonald’s was wrapped around the building and out to the street. Ronald is one happy clown.
There’s a lot of oilies in fast food. But we like the other kind of oil too.
The United States became the world’s largest petroleum producer in the last 10 years. I’m told that this country produced 18.23 million barrels of oil per day in 2019. So yes, we make the stuff, and then we use the stuff. The United States is also the world’s largest consumer of oil.
So, I guess we are “Number One” in those two areas. And here is another number one. Guns, guns, guns. There are more guns than people in the United States – about 101 for every 100 people. The country with the next highest ownership rate in Serbia. Yes, Serbia, where there are 58 guns for every 100 people. Have you seen Serbia lately?
Oh, but the people here. The people. Apparently, we are all living in the same places. Over half of the U.S. population lives in just nine states: California, Texas, Florida, New York, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Ohio, Georgia, and North Carolina. Crickets chirp in the other 41 states.
And, besides the Native Americans, none of us are really from here. In fact, approximately 43 million Americans identify as ancestrally German. That is more than any other nationality. Guten Tag! Wie Geht’s?
Oh, but maybe the best part about America is our love of dogs. I was speaking of pets, but we love our hot dogs too. Americans bought 871.8 million pounds of hot dogs in 2019 in supermarkets. Yes, that is about $2.3 billion worth of franks. The city with the most? Los Angeles is the top-dog, eating about 30 million pounds of hot dogs per year.
Really, though, I was talking about the kind that goes “woof.” The ones that pee everywhere. There are an estimated 75.8 million dogs in the United States. We are number one in the world in dog ownership. We own more than double the number in Brazil, the country with the second most dogs.
Yes, some grand, grand facts about America. What’s not to love, right?
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“Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.”
― Franklin D. Roosevelt
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“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
― George Carlin
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“Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.”
― Gore Vidal, Screening History
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