Some days, I just wake up thinking things. From the very moment my mind comes back from the deep, dark lull of sleep, back into the awarenesses of the waking mind, something is knocking at the front door of my cognizance.
This morning, there were two things. One was the word duplicitous. Over and over again — duplicitous. Shortly thereafter, in the near silence of brushing my teeth, was a story from this week’s news.
First, duplicitous, as we know, is another word for deceitful. Of course, there is a lot of that going on in our world today. Especially more than 20,000 false claims coming right out of Washington DC. But this isn’t about TwitterLand.
It is about another account of duplicity. Deceitfulness or double-dealing.
The news story that I thought about was the one from the wildlife sanctuary at Lincolnshire Wildlife Centre in Great Britain. It has been all over the news. About those five parrots who reside there.
Those five chatty parrots had to be separated and removed from seeing the zoo’s visitors. All because they were swearing.
First, let’s get a few things out of the way. I love birds. I love to watch them, feed them, learn about them, spend time with them if they will let me. I think they are incredible creatures, especially crows and parrots.
However, one of the saddest things about birds is to see them in cages. Oh, I have always wanted a bird. I have. But I couldn’t bear to keep it in a cage. I know sometimes this cannot be avoided — if they were somehow injured, sick, or abandoned, and can no longer protect themselves in the wild. Even still, birds surely must love to fly. They seem to relish the act. I think it is sad when they are kept from that freedom.
Anyway, back to the zoo across the pond. Here are these five parrots who have become quite proficient at swearing. Not just little swear words, like d*mn or sh*t. No. They are using big-time, all-out swear words, like f*** off.
When visitors come through their area, the birds begin swearing. Oh, those little visitor’s ears. But the zookeepers say that the birds encouraged each other to keep cursing. Cheering each other on. Really getting those foul mouths revved up and going.
Their names are Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade, and Elsie. And they were removed from view this week from the ogling public. Now they are somewhere else in the facility, which houses 200 African gray parrots.
The workers reported that when the birds saw people shocked or laughing, it would only encourage them more. The F-Bombs would really start flying. Then the birds began laughing at one another. Cajoling. The swearing was completely out of hand. I think Billy is the ring leader, quite honestly.
My thoughts on this are simple.
Birds are smart. And those birds are duplicitous.
Probably worse for a bird, then being put in a cage, is having a parade of people walking by your cage, tapping, yammering, staring. All day, those people shouting things like “Polly want a cracker?” Believe me, I know from experience.
So they broke out. The one way they knew how. They put into place their duplicitous plan. They started swearing like a bunch of drunken sailors. “F*** off,” they said, laughing all the while.
Ingenious. No more parade of human watchers. A little peace and quiet for those parrots.
I’m not advocating the use of swear words. I barely use them myself, except when pounding my thumb with a hammer. Yet, sometimes, as we have seen here — at those very special times — they may be the only words that work. A little Parrot Power.
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“I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.”
― Matt Groening
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“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”
― George Orwell, 1984
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“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
― George Carlin
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Eff Me? Well, maybe, just maybe, eff you too.
