I’ve always been a “word” person. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed reading the dictionary. It is kind of sad now, because I rely so much on digital spelling and online dictionaries when I write or work. But years ago, I had a few of the “book” versions around my house, one in my bag, one in my car. And as mentioned, when I had a few extra minutes, I’d pick it up and read.
I only mention this because most words stay where they are until they’re absolutely needed. Like, we don’t say boorish all the time. This sandwich is boorish. Traffic was absolutely boorish on the way in to work. My shoes seem a little boorish with these pants. And on.
What I’m getting to is this. In all my life, I have never heard the word “hoax” as many times as I’ve heard it in the past four years.
And I’ll tell you why. Because words stay in their dictionaries unless they are absolutely needed. For those first 52 years, there were not many hoaxes going on. Zippo. Nadda. Vamoose. Nil.
Oh, occasionally we’d hear of a UFO sighting, and someone would say it landed in their backyard, leaving burn marks on the top of their 1972 yellow Pinto, before it finally zipped away, taking all the laundry that was hanging on the lines with it. Then. Three days later, the reporters would let us know that it was all a big hoax. The word hoax came out for just a moment, made an appearance, and headed back to the Funk and Wagnall’s where it belonged.
Today, I feel sorry for that poor word hoax. It must be terribly tired. For the past 1,460 days, it has been out and about almost every single one of those days, thanks to President Trump. And all because he’s using it wrong.
You see, before he came along? When people had different opinions on something? It was called any number of things. A lack of agreement. A debate. A dispute. A discrepancy.
Or, if a person didn’t understand a particular fact or figure, they simply said, “I’m not sure,” or “I don’t know that one.” It didn’t immediately get punched with the old hoax stamper.
But now, everyone seems to feel the need to use it. It’s kind of like diaper rash. It doesn’t just break out with one little pimple. It ends up spreading all over the ass as a whole.
Here is the other thing about the word hoax. It can be dangerous when used, especially when people in power pull it out and throw it around. The word “hoax” doesn’t like to be mistreated, so it pushes back when it can. A prime example of this occurred on this day, January 16, in the year 1749.
There was a “Hoax” article published in a paper. The article advertised a fictitious theatrical performer named “The Bottle Conjuror.” Well. Who the heck in their right mind wouldn’t want to go see “The Bottle Conjuror.” So the event drew huge crowds to the Haymarket Theatre in London. As it turns out, the people waited and waited, but no such act appeared. The “Bottle Conjurer” was a no-show. Those Londoners became angry, and an ugly riot broke out, injuring scads of people. But why did the article appear in the first place? The hoax was planted by the wealthy Duke of Montague, in order to spark a fiasco — all in order to win a bet.
People of power and privilege, misusing the dictionary once again. Truthfully, I think it should be a capital offense. Okay, maybe not that bad, but something larger than a misdemeanor.
That is the thing about words, though. They are free for everyone to use. But when we put them in a certain order, they can carry along a very high cost.
May we all choose them wisely. Today, and always.
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“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” -Mother Theresa
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“Don’t ever diminish the power of words. Words move hearts and hearts move limbs.” -Hamza Yusuf
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“Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.” -Unknown
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The poor, poor hoax. Where it doesn’t belong.
