I guess we know what chemicals can do to people over time. Take someone who’s been treating lawns for years, spraying them like crazy with fertilizers and weed killers — all for the sake of GREEN. All those chemicals are eventually going to soak into the person applying it. And then what happens?
Oh. Let’s just say for the sake of argument that person gets elected to some public position, perhaps even becoming a politician, and heads to the state capital, where they are supposed to use good solid reasoning in lawmaking. But remember those chemicals. We know what they can do to a person.
So one night, while sitting in their kitchen dipping Fig Newtons in Pepsi, they get a bright idea. They decide to invite in a speaker to talk to all the other lawmakers about vaccinations. Yes, a doctor even. She isn’t quite a medical doctor but instead an osteopathic doctor. The who? Sherri Tenpenny.
Never mind that she “is an American anti-vaccination activist who supports the disproved hypothesis that vaccines cause autism. An osteopathic physician, she is the author of four books opposing vaccination. A 2015 lecture tour of Australia was canceled due to a public outcry over her views on vaccination, which go against the established scientific consensus. An analysis done by the Center for Countering Digital Hate concluded that Tenpenny is among the top twelve people spreading COVID-19 misinformation and pseudoscientific anti-vaccine misinformation on social media platforms. She has falsely asserted the vaccines magnetize people and connect them with cellphone towers.” (Wiki)
Never mind all of that.
Let me tell you one more thing about Tenpenny. Since 2017, Tenpenny and her business partner, Matthew Hunt, have taught a six-week course titled “Mastering Vaccine Info Boot Camp.” The course is designed to “sow seeds of doubt” regarding public health information. And the best part? They CHARGE an entrance fee of $623 per person to anyone wishing to take their course.
I got a bridge I can sell you when we’re done here.
Ohio Republican house members had invited Sherri Tenpenny to testify in support of a bill that would weaken our state’s vaccination laws. She is certainly carving out quite a career for herself, isn’t she? Standing, all straight-faced, up there at the podium, defying science and spreading lies about Covid-19 vaccines and getting loads of attention.
This is what she said at the Ohio House of Representatives just a couple of days ago.
“I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the internet of people who have had these shots, and now they’re magnetized,” she said out loud. “You can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. You can put spoons and forks all over, and they can stick because now we think there is a metal piece to that.”
Here’s the thing. I’m fully vaccinated. I know lots of people who are fully vaccinated. So I made up a kit. It has forks, knives, spoons, keys, screwdrivers, nails, door strikes, and a few other items composed of every metal I could think of.
I tried all of them on myself, but alas, each item fell to the floor, with the exception of the spoon. That dropped on my dog, Louis, who came out to see what all the racket was about.
I’ve tried this on vaccinated friends too. Even on strangers, pumping gas, and waiting in lines. I asked them, “Are you vaccinated?” If they reply yes, I try to stick a spoon to their foreheads. Most of those people simply reply, “Get away from me, you crazy wench.” I pick up my spoon and move on to the next. We, scientists, do what we must.
Part of me was disappointed, really. I mean, if she had been right, imagine the possibilities. What with all the mass shootings that are going on right now, if I were found in that situation, all I’d have to do would be to present my forehead, and the gun would come out of the assailant’s hand directly to my possession. Like some superhero. Magnetifica.
But this is the real world.
Where science rules. Except in Ohio.
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“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein
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“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
― George Carlin
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“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
― Harlan Ellison
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Fork me. We’re all forked, if you ask me.
