We were hunted. Hide and seeking.

I used to run. Every day. At the height of my running, I was doing about six miles each morning. This was when we lived in Charleston, South Carolina. I’ve run in different stints my entire adult life.

Anyway, during this, my brother was visiting from Seattle. I mentioned how it was very difficult every morning to push through that routine. I continued, saying my body often ached and was tired. He looked me square in the eye and said, “Well, stop doing that.”

I took his advice. I stopped running and never felt better. Almost immediately. It turns out I’m not a really runner.

Here is my theory on running. It’s inborn. You either have the “gene” for running, or you don’t. These days, humans rule the planet. But. A long time ago, when the planet was just seeing the advent of humans, things were much different.

For millions of years, as the hominid brain was developing, our ancestors were hunted. The Pleistocene was far more terrifying than we can imagine. Just read this passage from Real Science:

== “Near the dawn of the Pleistocene, roughly 2.8 million years ago, a young child belonging to the early hominin species Australopithecus africanus was killed. The child’s worn, and scratched skull was discovered in 1924 along with the mangled bones of other small to medium-sized animals.

Today, the best explanation for the skull and the accompanying collection of skeletons is that they were gathered by an ancient, large bird of prey. – the leftovers of many, many meals. This realization evokes a horrifying scenario: after being plucked from the ground and carried off into the sky, this was where the young Australopithecus child was eaten.” ==

So there you have it. Aside from big, terrifying giant birds, oversized crocodiles, and ferocious leopards, our early humans likely had to contend with bears, sabertooth cats, snakes, hyenas, Komodo dragons, and other frightening beasts. We were their prey. The past was not a pleasant place for our ancestors.

But. Here is my take on things. They split into two groups. Some of those humans got very good at hiding. And others. Well. They ran.

They ran, and ran, and ran. And. Most of them were caught and later digested. But the few who made it are the carriers of the running gene. That’s why there are so few runners in our population today. Through this past decade, only 18 percent of adult Americans engaged in some sport or exercise activity on a typical day. And, only 8.8% of those people are runners. Not a lot.

The hiders now mostly populate the earth.

Don’t be ashamed about being a hider. We hiders sparked the “survival of the fittest” thing. We may not have looked as fit as the runner, but mentally we had what it took to survive.

So yes. That is my theory on this. Some of us are meant to run, and others are simply not. I also have a theory on cave-cleaners and cave-slobs, but I’ll save that for another day.

Anyway, all this came about because today is the anniversary date when Pheidippides died.

He is famous because he was the inspiration for the running event, the marathon. In old, old times, 490 BC, he is said to have run from Marathon to Athens in under 36 hours. He was delivering news of a military victory against the Persians. I guess he was in a hurry to tell them.

Anyway, once Pheidippides made it to Athens with the news, he collapsed and died. So yes, he fell over dead on September 2, 490 BC — from running.

It’s not for everyone. Do you see now how right I am about all this running business?


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The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
— Martin Mull

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The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.
— Franklin Jones

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Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry. But if a ferret were about to dart up my dress, I’d run.
— Alice in Wonderland

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