What would have happened if the Princess had kissed the frog, and that frog turned into something other than the Prince? Wouldn’t that have been quite the story? Like, say, perhaps the witch, or whoever it was that put the curse on the Prince-Frog— what if that witch gave the kiss a random five year clause thing. Kind of like Russian Roulette with outcome being a random roll of the dice.
So the Princess leans over slowly, and gently kisses the frog on tip of its nose.
AND POOF. Out comes the Donut Delivery Guy. And he’s hellbent on bringing the Princess a wide array of donuts, each morning as the sun peaks over the horizon. Of course, she loovvvvves donuts. And by the end of the first year, she’s put on at least 12 pounds. By the third year, it is close to 40. Jellies are her favorites. Her maidens have to buy extra bolts of material to make her Princess Dresses, and they’ve added two extra horses to the carriage. At any rate, when the fifth year kiss rolls around, she pecks the Donut Dude on the cheek, AND POOF.
Out comes the Maytag Repairman. Of course, we know how those commercials go. Maytags are sturdy, and dependable. They never break down. He’s incredibly bored, lonely, sad, and, oooh wait. This is medieval England. There aren’t even any Maytags for another 600 years. The guy really is sad. Of course, the Princess, being an Empath and all, is sad too. Not only that, she misses all those donuts, but makes up for it by ordering out for pizza, in an attempt to cheer up the Maytag guy. His favorite is the Meat Lovers. All of this weighs heavily and she becomes terribly depressed, completely letting herself go. Five years, and she walks over, lifts his little repairman hat, and kisses him on the forehead, AND POOF.
Whew. After just a couple of tries, she gets the Prince.
Well. Now it is 10 years later, she’s put on close to 50 pounds, and she’s completely let herself go.
And he tells her, in earnest, that all he really wants to do is lay around in the water, and swim. And he likes it when there’s a fly in his soup. He jumps into the Royal Pond, and she never sees him again.
She head back to the kingdom, where she opens a 24-hour donut shop.
And they all live. Ever after. The End.
Which brings me to the moral of the story.
The writers at Disney work there for good reason, and I, it seems, still enjoy a good game of Tic Tac Toe, with dual colored pens.
We all have our paths. Follow yours.
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“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
― Lemony Snicket
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“All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.”
― Seán O’Casey
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“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
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