Don’t they realize it when it is happening? Don’t they know they are pooping their pants? I’m talking about moviemakers. The folks that put out the real stinkers.
I’ve gotten to the point that if I don’t warm up to a movie pretty quickly, I am out of there. I don’t give them much time to prove themselves. I’ve come to this because I’ve wasted too many two-hour stints in my life with bad movies.
There is a whole fleet of “Worst Ever” movie lists out there. But a lot of them agree. The distinction of the worst movie ever made goes to the 1959 cult classic from Ed Wood — “Plan 9 From Outer Space.”
It was on his date, July 30, 1959, that the film premiered. Much to our dismay.
Plan 9 from Outer Space was made in 1956. It was an independent film. American. Black-and-white. It was classified as a science fiction-horror film, although some might call it a comedy. Of errors. It was produced, written, directed, and edited by Ed Wood, and only Ed Wood.
They gave it a theatrical preview screening on March 15, 1957, at the Carlton Theatre in Los Angeles. At that point, it was called Grave Robbers from Outer Space.
I feel sorry for the people who acted in the movie, though I would imagine most of them have gone to the outer limits by now. The film had many stars, but one guy named Lyle Talbot claimed he never refused any acting job. Obviously.
The movie is mostly about extraterrestrials who seek to stop humanity from creating a doomsday weapon that could destroy the universe. So, those good aliens implement “Plan 9,” a scheme to wake up all the Earth’s dead. The aliens think that if they create this dead-people-chaos, the whole big crisis will force humanity to listen to them. But. There is always a “but.” If the humans don’t listen to them, the aliens will destroy humankind with those armies of the undead. Easy come. Easy go.
Sounds like some political movements here lately.
Anyway, there it is, the worst ever movie according to many critics.
It didn’t make the Rotten Tomatoes list, but that inventory seems to be filled with newer movies.
And here it is.
According to Rotten Tomatoes, the 10 Worst Movies are:
1. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
2. One Missed Call (2008)
3. A Thousand Words (2012)
4. Gotti (2018)
5. Pinocchio (2002)
6. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
7. Gold Diggers (2003)
8. The Last Days of American Crime (2020)
9. Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
10. Dark Crimes (2016)
I’ve never seen any of these, and I doubt I ever will.
As mentioned, these lists are all different depending on the source. See for yourself. Google “worst movies of all time.”
Yet. Once again, I ask. Don’t they know just how bad it is when they are making the thing? Or do they? Perhaps they think it is scrumptious and are hoping someone will agree.
So here it is. Our vision of ourselves and what we do is ours alone. Every person sees us in a different way. And most certainly, those views are probably divergent from our own.
A good thing to remember as we move through our days. A good move, in our eyes, might be an absolute debacle to someone else. And our movies play on.
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“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
– Gone With the Wind, 1939
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“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
– The Godfather, 1972
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“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
– The Wizard of Oz, 1939
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What’s our next move? A bad movie?
