I like to play Wordle. When I begin, I see the blank canvas, six rows with five empty squares in each. The mission, if you choose to accept it, is to figure out the correct sequence of those five letters — the Wordle word of the day.
It could be anything, from “fungi” to “mushy” to “onion.” Each day, I attempt to solve the mystery, along with tens of millions of other people.
As a fun part of this, my friend Linda Stowe and I write a story each day based on the words we guessed in order to get to the solution. (Every so often, another friend, Malenna Sumrall, will join in the fun.)
The conjured tales run the gamut. Although sometimes they are true.
Linda is a gifted writer, and her stories are always engaging. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes sad, and most of the time, reflective.
A week or so ago, she wrote this great piece. And I felt the need to share, with her permission, of course.
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I like to think that I’m not a judgmental person, but I am. We probably all are to some extent. For instance, one of the things I often did at the grocery store was to look into other people’s carts. When I look into another person’s grocery cart, I am looking into their life. It’s like being an archeologist. I make inferences based on the evidence I see.
If I see a three-pound roll of hamburger in someone’s cart, I might assume this is a person with a large family. Someone with a prime rib roast in their cart probably knows how to cook and isn’t too concerned about price.
We make these kinds of assumptions about others all the time. My long-ago insurance salesman once told me that he could size up a family as soon as he went into their living room because one look would tell him the thing they prize most. Until I started downsizing, the first thing one would notice coming into my house would be all the books. My friend Bruce had plants on every flat surface in his house. My friend Susan has family pictures everywhere. My friend Karla had sheets thrown over every couch and chair and dog toys around the floor.
Of course, Bruce, Susan. and Karla are more than what one initially sees. Bruce has an appealing childlike curiosity that is rare, especially in a man. Susan is one of the kindest people I‘ve ever known. And Karla is one of those loud women with a ready laugh who are easy to be around.
We, each of us, are more than first appearances. I’m a white-haired little old lady in a wheelchair. The image that creates causes people who first meet me to address me in a certain way. However, by the time they leave, they usually see me in a different light. That probably holds true for all of us. There is more to us than first meets the eye, but most people think the image we first present sums up who we are.
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I loved every bit of this. We all judge. And we are judged. As hard as some of us try to be accepting, inclusive, and compassionate, we cannot escape the fact that humans judge one another. We constantly assess our situation and all it might entail, including the presence of others.
Hopefully, we will learn to release those judgments and attempt to know the person for who they truly are.
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“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience – well, that comes from poor judgment.”
― A.A.Milne
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“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
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‘“Understanding is the first step to acceptance.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
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The Wordle magic. Don’t judge.
