I’ve never been to Egypt, and it is not likely that I will go. But since I was a little girl, I’ve long been fascinated with the pyramids, and all things Egyptian. Oh, Mummy. I think this is in large part due to Shock Theater, or some distant cousin therein.
On Saturday mornings, during the cold months, my sister and I would scramble to get our chores done. Then, around lunchtime, Mom would let us take our lunches into the dining room, where we’d sit on the floor, and look up at the small TV on the dining room buffet. For lack of a better place, that is where the family gathered to watch television. And that is where Julie and I clamored, to see Shock Theater.
The pictures could be anything, from the old scary classics. Dracula (1931), The Wolf Man (1941), to The Raven (1935). But my favorites were the Egyptian tales of looted pyramids and looming curses. The Mummy’s Tomb (1942) and The Mummy’s Ghost (1944). Of course, the accuracy level was negligent or non-existent.
They never once showed a mummified cat. As life expands, I just read a long article about these. They were everywhere in Ancient Egypt.
Most recently, some nifty archaeologists have discovered dozens of mummified cats in Egypt. There were lots of other cattish things too, like 100 wooden gilded statues of felines, bronze kitty statues, and such. These artifacts were found inside a famous burial ground for the ancient Egyptian capital of Memphis.
I then learned that Egyptians mummified millions of cats, in what they call the “Late Period” which extends from 664 to 332 B.C.E. Millions. In the early searching of these places, the British explorers literally pillaged Egypt. This was during the 1890s. Now, I bet good money right here and now, that there were a LOT of cursed Brits running around with those little pithy helmets on their heads, for raiding all those tombs. I’ll remind you here, that I’ve seen “The Mummy’s Ghost (1944).
Anyway, they shipped many of them home to use as fertilizer, even transporting 180,000 cat mummies on one ship. Can you imagine? What were they thinking? Sacred mummy cats, to spread around your spring tomatoes? I bet you good money right here and now, there were a LOT of wicked cursed BLT’s in England in the 1890s.
Those people who study these things, think all these cats were due to the temples supporting themselves. Like those cats they just found. They were in some sort of a tomb that was “reused” by the Egyptians to generate income for the temple. This part of the history was “sketchy” in the article I read because they give no “time” reference, but apparently the ancient government pulled “funding” for those temples.
So, the temple priests told the people they could get their messages or prayers to the gods. BUT only if they bought physical effigies of the gods directly from the priests. And then the people would place their messages in those effigies, and then give them back to the temples to pass along their messages to the gods. Not exactly a pyramid scheme, but in fact — a pyramid scheme.
So that’s how it worked. Many Egyptian gods had a feline form, and this led worshipers to buy, essentially, a lot of dead cats. It was akin to trying to buy hand sanitizer right now. As such, the temple had to generate dead cats. They did this by strangling cats and making cat mummies. The researchers assume it was the Egyptian priests killing the cats, a lot of them, young kittens. They were most likely breeding the felines right in the temples and then killing them. I can see the “Lemonade Stands” popping up all over, except they were selling dead kittens. A complete catastrophe.
Once again, I bet there were some curses generated here. I know cats. You don’t really want to piss off a cat, and certainly not a cat god.
I can only say that religion has been around a long time, in so many shapes, forms, sizes, rituals, and — beliefs. We can look back now, and see the absurdity, the cruelty, the corruption. That’s looking back. If we look around today, we might notice a bit here too.
For now, I can be thankful that Shock Theater was about as realistic a fake tans. I couldn’t have handled watching this part of “The Mummy’s Curse” (1944).
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“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor
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“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century
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“God has no religion.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
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