I have guilt.
Maybe because I had that good old Catholic upbringing. They say we are good at knowing guilt. But all of that aside, I think most people have an understanding of it. And, at one time or another, most of us have hauled around a healthy dose of it.
But here is the thing. Sometimes, guilt can feel like carrying around a heavy anchor. And what it does is to pull us down. To hold us back. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking that we need to feel guilty in order to make things right with ourselves.
Many of us grow up believing that guilt is a natural part of dealing with mistakes, and we try to make up for those mistakes by punishing ourselves. When I was growing up, we had “Confession” and “Penance.” But on other levels, if we did something wrong in our childhoods, we were punished. There was a huge correlation between the two.
But in reality, the key to moving forward is learning to accept our past with kindness and understanding—especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves.
When we look back at our actions, we start to see that there might be a whole lot more to what we’ve done. And weirdly, guilt might make us feel a little better for a moment. Somehow, being hard on ourselves is a bit like taking the easy way out. But the big truth is, there is a better way.
We just need to look and see. If we can approach our past with compassion, we start to see things differently. Maybe we acted out of fear, or maybe we simply did the best we could at the time. When we can let go of the weight of guilt, we begin to realize that it’s through forgiveness and self-compassion that we can truly heal. Maybe we were trying, and we simply went the wrong way.
Giving ourselves permission to be at peace with the past is one of the most powerful steps we can take toward living a life free from regret. The more we remind ourselves that acceptance—of ourselves, our choices, and everything we’ve been through—is the true path to inner peace, the better things will be. When we accept ourselves, we come to know more joy and harmony in our lives.
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“The greatest peace comes when we accept the things we cannot change.” — Mark Retter
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“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” — Amy Bloom
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“Happiness can only exist in acceptance.” — George Orwell
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“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.” — Glenn Beck
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The guilt of the not-so-guilty
