There are two sides to every coin.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Or. Perhaps.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I guess it depends on the thing that’s missing. Feasibly.
I don’t miss smoking, although I still remember it well, the feeling of lighting that cigarette, and drawing in a nice, long puff, the nicotine rush hitting my brain, the immediate calming or embellishment of any situation. Most days, I don’t even think about it. Any day, really.
I’ve quit a lot of things in my life which I no longer miss. For all practical purposes, I quit eating “sweats” when I was 16 years old. No pies, cookies, cakes, candy, waffles, muffins, ice cream, blah, blah, blah. I eat things that contain some sugar though. Like bread. And on occasion, ketchup. But no sweets.
Alcohol too. I gave that up 15 years ago. Not a drop since.
I don’t miss smoking, and surely don’t miss sweets. But the alcohol? Who couldn’t use a drink these days? These are tough times we are in.
As I try to apply either of those first two phrases to any one of those things, they simply don’t fit. Absence doesn’t make my heart grow fonder. And though those things are out of sight, they are not totally out of mind.
On the other hand, I lost my parents a few years back. More than a few, now that I consider the dates. Time flies. (That’s one phrase I am certain of.) Anyway, I miss both of those good people. I’m not sure that absence is making my heart grow any fonder though. I loved them when they were alive. I still love them, now that they have gone. Equally, I’d say.
In fact, I can’t think of any one thing in my life to which either of those statements would apply.
I’ve heard a lot of people say that they can’t wait for things to get back to normal. But life as we knew it, back in 2019, is over. There won’t be any returning to that, I’m afraid.
Just like the TSA started checking every person to enter every airport — and will be forevermore — so will our world have new boundaries, new rules, and new ways of doing things. We will be “inconvenienced.” People are already balking at this. They cry about their “rights” and they say the COVID deaths are a lie, and the warnings conjured, all in an effort to “contain” the people. But truthfully, they are just angry and scared because our world has taken an entirely new shape. A new form. And we can’t do things the way we used to.
In this case, their hearts are not growing fonder.
And certainly, the absence of these things is not out of their minds.
In all of this, we must remember that the only constant in the Universe is change. We don’t have to like that rule, and no one asked us. But we are all a part of this place. All together. And. We better start figuring this out. Acceptance is key.
We radiate our thoughts and our emotions. From deep within we radiate our state of being, whatever that may be.
When we started out — when we very first got here — that essential, original and eternal state of every being was peaceful and loving. It was our core at birth.
But then we start taking on attachments. And when we do, we block that original love and peace. Attachments turn love into fear. They turn peace into anger. And when that happens, our attitudes and actions towards others are distorted.
I hope that if one thing changes, we can all somehow get back to that place of our original peace. While there may be two sides to every coin, they are numerous paths to peace. We all need to choose ours.
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“Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena
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“For the person who has learned to let go and let be, nothing can ever get in the way again.”
― Meister Eckhart
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“Detachment is not giving up the things in this world, but accepting the fact and to be continuously aware that nothing is permanent.”
― Aditya Ajmera
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