Too Quick To Judge By Linda Stowe
If I were to pick my most bothersome flaw it is that I am too quick to judge. This could be about things, situations, or people. Regardless of what it is, I hop onto the first thing that comes to mind and move on convinced that I have made the right choice. But looking back over my life, there are countless indicators that I have been wrong or, at best, too hasty. And the sad thing about this is that I have only become aware of this flaw relatively recently, maybe twenty years ago.
No doubt the people in my life tried to point out that I was too quick to make decisions but their efforts to nudge me in the right direction failed because I didn’t realize there was an issue. I don’t recall a specific point where I became aware there was a problem, but change has been a gradual and uneven process that sometimes looks like a game of whack-a-mole. I try to be empathetic and accepting but every now and then something is triggered and I rush to judgment. Just today my brother was recounting a visit to his cardiologist who recommended more diligence on diet and exercise. My brother said the next morning his wife gave him a cup of warm water with cinnamon and vinegar to start the day, saying that this is how all the movie stars maintain their health. Instead of supporting my brother’s efforts, I immediately commented that this sounded like something out of the supermarket tabloids. Then I caught myself and focused on positive things he was doing but still the only comment from the conversation I remember is about the supermarket tabloids. I hope it isn’t the only comment that he remembers.
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We all judge. All the time. We can’t help it. That is the human way. We are living in this world and we react to everything we encounter, including ourselves.
According to the dictionary, to judge is “to form an opinion or conclusion about something.”
It might be little. It might be big.
I pull an apple from the refrigerator, and I say to myself, “That looks like a good apple.” I’ve judged the thing before taking a bite.
Or. I stand in line at the grocery store, and the woman in front of me is loud and talkative. Perhaps I think she is being rude by this behavior. I’ve judged her without knowing for sure why she is loud. Perhaps her hearing is poor, and she is nervous about being in public.
I think, in some ways, we all do this. We all have an “immediate” response to the things that are happening in our lives. But it is much better when we can step back in each moment and give ourselves a little more time to acknowledge the possibilities. There are so many.
And we continue to do the best that we can do in this.
Too Quick To Judge By Linda Stowe
