Here’s a shocker.
Those Double Stuf Oreos? Those doubly-big Oreos at the grocery. Well. It turns out they are only 1.86 times as “stuf’ed” as classic Oreos. That stuffing was measured by a group of budding scientists. You still have to twist off the top and bottom, I say.
I love crackers. Polly want a cracker? How could I not love a cracker? But I’m the savory kind of cracker girl. I like saltines. They got their name because they were heavily salted. Go figure.
Here’s another thing. The holes in crackers are called “docker holes.”
Manufacturers poke them to let steam escape so crackers bake flat instead of puffing up.
Here is why they’re called docker holes (or docking holes). It is because they’re made by a tool called a docker. A docker is a roller or plate covered with pins that pokes tiny holes into dough before baking. The process itself is called docking.
Is that kind of like aerating your lawn?
The crimped edge of a Ritz cracker was reportedly designed to work as a makeshift cutter for cheese slices. Now, I’m no elf. And I’m certainly no genius. But I really don’t think the edge of a Ritz cracker would cut any cheese that I know of.
Maybe we should check on the sweet side of crackers.
Graham crackers were originally invented as a bland health food.
Reverend Sylvester Graham believed plain foods reduced unhealthy urges. He believed diet affected not only physical health, but also morality, self-control, and spiritual purity.
So he grabbed hold of plainness. Blandness. From this came Graham bread, and eventually graham crackers. But the original crackers were nothing like modern graham crackers. They were unsweetened, coarse, and intentionally bland.
I’ve never heard of it before, but “Graham” flour still exists. It is a type of whole wheat flour where parts of the wheat are ground separately and recombined, producing a coarser texture.
Graham’s followers became known as “Grahamites.” Some embraced his entire lifestyle philosophy, not just the food. But here is a good reason not to like him: He opposed white bread. Everyone knows that white bread is truly the soul of all bread-dom.
Today’s graham crackers would horrify this guy. The second, fourth, and fifth ingredients found in a graham cracker these days are sugar, molasses, and corn syrup, respectively. Which makes it beg to be melted with marshmallow and chocolate.
So. There they are. So, hard facts about some cookies and crackers.
Happy dunking and crunching to you!
May these things bring you lots of joy.
And new ways to cut the cheese.
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“Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” — Jim Fiebig
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“All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.” — John Gunther
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“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” — Barbara Johnson
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“Bread is the king of the table and all else is merely the court that surrounds the king.” — Louis Bromfield
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