People Watching By Linda Stowe
Each month I spend a few hours sitting in medical waiting rooms. These places seem to be the haunt of the older population, much like the soda shop of our teens. I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t rehash that experience.
My point here is about people watching. We make assumptions about other people based on their appearance. It’s not a fault that we do this; it’s logical to form our beliefs based on our experience. As I sit in the waiting room, I consider that mother and daughter who just arrived and think they probably have a close relationship because they look so similar, even down to the clothes and hairstyle. Or that gaunt old man sitting alone in the corner, hunched over a rollator seems beaten down and I think he must live a very lonely life. As I sit there in my chair, I think that even though we do not speak, our appearance tells other people who we are.
That’s what I thought. Then on Monday my brother was here and at one point he went out into the yard to assess some issues I was having in one of my flower beds. While he was there, my nearly 90-year old neighbor Pat wheeled up in her golf cart. She is our master gardener and was making rounds checking on plants in the village. Because of a fall a few months back, Pat is not able to get around like she used to. Pat and my brother are both extroverts, so they glommed onto one another and chatted for a good while. Later my brother told me that Pat had confided that all the neighbors keep an eye on me because, you know, “she’s in that wheelchair.” As if I was barely getting by, someone to pity. I was surprised that others thought this of me. I didn’t think I was someone to be watched over. It is nice that my neighbors are so caring, but I would rather it be because of who I am rather than who I appear to be. I’ll try to remember this insight the next time I’m sitting in a waiting room.
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Polly here.
This touched my heart.
It is another good reminder that outward appearances can often be misleading. I’ve never thought of Linda as someone to be “watched over.” But maybe that is because I know her and her “can do” attitude about everything.
I know for a fact that if Linda sees a task that needs attention, she gets it done, whether she does it herself or finds the proper resources. The wheelchair is only a tool for her. That is all.
The reason that it touched me was because I sometimes wonder how others view me. I have a very clear vision of myself. But so do others. And their opinions of me might be quite different than my own.
This used to bother me a great deal. I’ve been trying to shift away from that.
The important thing is knowing ourselves.
Self-knowledge requires honesty. It is the kind of thing that doesn’t flinch when we see our flaws. It doesn’t downplay our strengths either. It’s not about being perfect, but about being real.
When we truly know ourselves, we begin to live with more clarity and intention. We stop chasing things that don’t align with who we are, and we start moving toward what does. The noise of the world quiets a little, because we’re no longer looking outward for every answer. Instead, we listen to the quiet voice within—the one that knows us best.
